Calling all crew, get your cannons ready. A patch of voodoo has us arriving early
Can the woo woo, just give em Hell mate, I know that you're ready
Telt em more than once that this adventure sucks, glad I never spent a penny over 20 bucks
When all's said and done, if you get it to work, I tell you wahat mate, best of luck

Welcome back all telepaths - I'm not certain that I had to tell em that
Before commencing mental sparring please ready all credit cards for the service charge, yo
We'll be headed to Hell and back - 10 points if you're taxing the welcome mat
Though the thought may be awful tempting, please do not spoil the ending to our wrestling match
No, you can't have the headphone jack - I prepped my own tracks full of dreadful rap
Call me Captain Dread; booty, phlegm and scabs. X marks the spot on this treasure map
Say hello to your gracious host, I'll sail this boat to the flames below
Hey ho, case closed, that's the way she goes. Wanna save your soul? Don't be afraid of ghosts
Ayo - Wanna take control? Take aim on a changing scope and a range of foes?
I trained for Melee when it came to blows and just prayed to kayfabe all vagrant codes
I'm tired of appeasing your pirate leaders, no inspiring speech, idols out of reach
Just illusion of choice for Guybrush Threepwood, while Herman Toothrot says that life's a beach
The type that's free, i believe if we open source all code that's needed
We can join the rift from the point and click to the open world and roam unimpeded
They say our saviours are naughty boys, but save those jokes for Monty Python
That is all for the Captain's Log as we're approaching the coast of Monkey Island

Calling all crew, get your cannons ready. A patch of voodoo has us arriving early
Can the woo woo, just give em Hell mate, I know that you're ready
Telt em more than once that this adventure sucks, glad I never spent a penny over 20 bucks
When all's said and done, if you get it to work, I tell you wahat mate, best of luck

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls now - Headcases of all ages
Reprobates enter centre stage because your cannibal warlords need placated now
Wherever the sails aim, they've given me a head for navigation
But you cannot depend on a save game as you're past the point of panic stations now
It's all drama and nostalgia been bonding our fabric and forming our character
Even the pirates will want to parrot out a common narrative joint in anger
What the fuck is the point in that? I served all your trials with a pointless map
Full of red herrings and trolls to block the path, but I'm reporting back that I enjoyed the dance
With a sword in hand - grab a rubber chicken, bag of wooden nickels and assorted tat
Can't think of a use for a monocle yet, but if it's unattended then it's chored for the following act
Call it borrowing, I swear I'll pay all of it back tomorrow in cash
For now I'll be grabbing up all that I can to fend off the ghost pirate haunting your man
But it's awfully hard, know my wits will save me. That, and dilligent care of one voodoo lady
Any day now I'll be due some change, but I've really been digging up Big Whoop lately
They say our saviours are naughty boys, but save those jokes for Monty Python
That is all for the Captain's Log as we're approaching the coast of Monkey Island

Calling all crew, get your cannons ready. A patch of voodoo has us arriving early
Can the woo woo, just give em Hell mate, I know that you're ready
Telt em more than once that this adventure sucks, glad I never spent a penny over 20 bucks
When all's said and done, if you get it to work, I tell you wahat mate, best of luck